Coming Home: An Emotional Advisor’s Journey with an Undefined Identity
By Helle Nexoe Husum, Certified Human Design Analyst
Finding Home as an Emotional Advisor with an Undefined Identity
I am a 5/1 Emotional Advisor, an IHDS-certified Analyst, and a BG5 student living in Denmark. This story is part of my BG5 journey, which I was invited to share with you during the Foundation Course.
I have wanted to keep the following story in mind, because it turned out to be a genuine breakthrough as far as my experiment with Human Design is concerned.
The Invitation That Changed Everything
A couple of years ago we moved into our new house. It’s very different from where we lived before, which was not correct for me.
Initially, when we sold our old house, we were formally invited to rent a house in a small city in a rural area, very different from the busy city we lived in before. I never thought a formal invitation would appear, but it came out of the blue. Somewhere among our friends, a couple had divorced, and a house was left uninhabited. We were asked if we wanted to rent the house, and if so, we only had to pay a very small rent, because the owner had some vintage cars and other things he wanted to store in the garage while we lived there. It was a very nice, big house, and enjoying the sight of the beautiful cars every day was not a problem at all.
The Challenge of Waiting
When the rental period was about to expire, we had to find a new place. In the meantime, we had grown very fond of the quiet rural area we had been invited into.
During a Professional Training class, I participated in while we lived in the rented house, we discussed the theme of the Projector/Advisor being formally invited to a new place to live.
My teacher at the IHDS talked about the possibility of my Gut Builder husband and me strolling around in the area where we wanted to live, and for me to wait for my husband to respond.
We were facing a critical deadline—May 1—and in the middle of February we had already been searching for a house since September.
Waiting was SO hard for me. I was really uncomfortable. My mind was going crazy from not initiating or having control of the situation, and my sense of identity was suffering from not having a place to call home.
We thought we were going to be homeless and were literally in a state of panic, ready to jump into any solution as long as it had four walls and a roof.
The First House
At the beginning of our search, my husband, the Builder who has the 9-52 Strength of Concentration, responded to a house in a small city called Munkerup, close to the rented house we lived in. He invited me to take a look at it. We went there, and we both liked it. It was the first house we saw.
However, for a couple of reasons the time wasn't right yet. It was mostly me—questioning and fantasizing about all kinds of obstacles: colonies of rooks in the trees (really annoying birds who live in the treetops and squeak all day), street noise, possible flooding during heavy rain, tall trees on the neighbor's property casting shadows. I have the 41-30, and I could imagine almost anything that could go wrong.
Clarity Through the Process
My husband and I define each other’s Identity and Direction functions through the 1-8, our only electromagnetic channel. Being in the right place is vital for both of us.
In January, after seeing A LOT of houses, me getting carried away imagining all kinds of different scenarios and not knowing what to focus on (Trait 9), and my husband keeping the direction, we slowly began to get a clearer sense of what would be important for us in a new place.
My husband eventually told me he had responded to the house in Munkerup again, but he wasn’t sure if I liked it. It has a big garage—he is a car mechanic and a handyman incarnate, and it’s been a childhood dream for him to own such a place.
He asked me if I was still thinking about that house, suspecting that the garage would not be my favorite—
“I do!” the words blurted out of me. I realized I had slowly grown very fond of the house, the garden, and the greenhouse, and the fact that the place has plenty of space for both of us. We both need to be able to retreat and have our own space from time to time.
The Second Visit
My husband then asked me, should we take a look at it again? So we went there one more time, this time during rush hour. The traffic was absolutely manageable and not a problem. “Incidentally,” we met the neighbor and had a chat with him. The neighbor told us he had never seen a colony of rooks there, nor experienced water on “our” ground. What’s more, he was keen to get rid of the tall trees. Obstacles overcome, just like that.
That day, my husband asked me: “Do you think this is the place we should go for?” I said, “Yeah.”
Coming Home
When entering the house for the second time, months later, I was completely clear that this was the right place for me. So was my husband.
To me, it was a tingling, yet calm, sweet feeling of “this is where I want to live.”
In the meantime, the price had dropped to a level that enabled us to afford some adjustments that were needed.
The house is within walking distance of the sea (my husband’s preferred environment) and has open rural surroundings as well. He wanted to be able to “see the sky,” he said.
My preferred environment is “caves.” Aside from having only one main entrance that I can easily watch, which makes me feel safe, the house has a sunlit, cave-like porch in the garden, also with only one entrance. My favorite spot.
I honestly couldn’t imagine both of our very different preferred environments being fulfilled in one place.
Knowing that my undefined Identity and Direction function is not fixed and stable, at least for now, I’m often pinching my arm to remind myself that this house and place are a reality and not some fantasy Narnia stuff. It’s just so lovely here. I have never thrived in any other place like I do here.
The Gift of Human Design/BG5
I can’t stop being amazed about Human Design/BG5. The more you lean into it and experiment with it, the more life begins to take care of you. At least from my experience. I am forever grateful for this knowledge.
About Helle Nexoe Husum
5/1 Emotional Projector, designed to come to terms with what it means to be human, with an energy of logical thinking, feeling, and longing for progress. Looking to provide guidance and practical solutions for you to find your own truth, with a twist of random knowledge from my own experiential library.
A friend of mine introduced me to the Gene Keys in 2017. Studying GK for a little while, I soon found that Human Design was ‘my thing’.
Back then I had a serious burnout following a long series of crises, seemingly lined up in a long row that began with my father’s sudden death around my first Saturn Return in 1992, through the Chiron Return in 2012, up till the second Saturn Return in 2021. At that time, the deconditioning process slowly began to ‘change the story’, allowing me to experience the emerging evidence of following my Strategy and Authority.
The nature of the Human Design System, being both logic and esoteric, instantly intrigued me when I came across it. During many years of investigating and questioning all kinds of systems and beliefs, Human Design somehow made perfectly sense to the way I perceive logical patterns.
Coming from a strictly Christian family, I have often challenged the belief system my family had been strongly influenced by. When I saw that Human Design was quite the opposite of a belief system, I felt an immense relief and freedom from letting go of that story and being allowed to be myself. And also, from discovering that I’m a Projector.
In 2018, I had my first reading. It was so precise, it totally blew my mind. It took off my shoulders the load I have always carried around trying to fit into a world in which I felt like a stranger, as well as the duty I have so often experienced that I must be in charge of other people’s problems and take on their duties and responsibilities.
Ever since, I have never stopped digging into the immense amount of knowledge.
Looking back, there is seemingly a repetitive pattern in my life around dysfunctional family structures. Having worked with various trauma release techniques, this is an area of Human Design that is very close to my heart. I'm in a deep awe of what a Family Penta Analysis can reveal, and I see the Human Design Family Practice as the most profound way to get to recognize, accept and forgive your fellow human beings for the way they were born to be.
IHDS Certifications:
- Living Your Design Guide
- Human Design Analyst
- Family Practice Specialist
